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bad jokes

1. cymru am bythSalvaged from archive7 Oct 2006, 00:22
   come on lets hear your worse, lamest, cheesiest jokes. heres a pretty poor one to start off with :- A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and There is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been Checking her out since He sat down but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly, she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He istinctivley reaches out and grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. "Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to You," she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap........ and stay for breakfast. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The Guy is amazed !! Everything had been SO incredible !!!! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every man you meet?" "No," she replies ...................." "You just happened to catch my eye."
2. tim2xSalvaged from archive7 Oct 2006, 05:38
   The guy says to his friend at work, " I think I had one of them there Freudian Slips today at breakfast. " "Oh?" says the friend. "Yeah, I meant to ask my wife to pass the sugar, and instead I said - you bitch, you fucked my life."
3. SpleenSalvaged from archive7 Oct 2006, 11:34
   What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car robin!
4. cymru am bythSalvaged from archive7 Oct 2006, 11:49
   Q:whats brown and sticky A: a stick
5. Rocker KidSalvaged from archive7 Oct 2006, 22:33
   Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
6. ShilohSalvaged from archive8 Oct 2006, 09:06
   Q. What did the vampire say to the teacher? A. See you next period.
7. Ace1875Salvaged from archive8 Oct 2006, 09:54
   ^^^ I can top that Q. What did the vampire say when he found a used tampon? A. Tea Time. Q. What did the Lesbian Vamipre say to her lover? A. See you next month.
8. Big OzzieSalvaged from archive8 Oct 2006, 17:22
   oh YEAH? WELL ......What did the Vampire say after hearing those Lame Ass Vampire Jokes? "They SUCKED!"
9. Big OzzieSalvaged from archive8 Oct 2006, 17:23
   What kind of lights did Noah have on the ARK? "FLOODLIGHTS!"
10. Rocker KidSalvaged from archive8 Oct 2006, 21:16
    What do two oceans say to each other when the meet? Nothing they just wave.
11. cymru am bythSalvaged from archive21 Mar 2007, 09:46
    A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him. Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pop out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left.... then to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while he was a head."

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