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bible story..

1. !NV!CTUSSalvaged from archive14 Dec 2006, 08:47
   whats your favorite bible story and why.. :D my favorite was about the husband and wife to soled their house and lied about the amount on how much they sold it.. when the apostle ask em f they sold the house they said yes but they tried to stole some of the money.. they died instantly.. also the man who died because he fell asleep why the preacher is preaching.. he fell from the window.. hehe.. :D how about you guys..
2. BrixtonSalvaged from archive14 Dec 2006, 08:57
   The Bible is full of stories, a great story book - thats where it should have been left. http://o-books.rmlconsult.com/oBooks/catalog/images/My%20…
3. jabaSalvaged from archive14 Dec 2006, 09:32
   Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? AAAAANoah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. Sorry folks! Couldn't resist. :mrgreen:
4. Big OzzieSalvaged from archive14 Dec 2006, 09:44
   What kind of LIGHTS did Noah have on the Ark? FLOODLIGHTS!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
5. BrixtonSalvaged from archive14 Dec 2006, 10:02
   ohh you guys with ya rib tickling jokes mooohahaha, please let me, One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah, me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark". Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being. Anything you want. After all, you're the guv". But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch. This time, Noah, I don't want just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other." "20 DECKS!" screams Noah. "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?" "Yep, that's right. Well, sort of right. This time I want you to fill it up with fish," God answers. "Fish?" queries Noah. "Yep, fish. Well, to make it more specific, Noah, I want carp - wall to wall, floor to ceiling - Carp!" Noah looks to the skies. "OK God my old mucker, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?" "Check". "With 20 decks, one on top of the other?" "Check". "And you want it full of Carp?" "Check". "Why?" Asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether. "I dunno....I just fancied a multi-storey Carp Ark" Now someone shoot me for that crap joke...
6. jabaSalvaged from archive14 Dec 2006, 10:22
   Lol@Brixton! Remember the one where Jesus is beckoning to his disciple's from his crucifix that time. The disciple's were trying to reach him and getting slain - hacked to pieces by all the Roman guards. One of 'em gets to the foot of the cross and is covered with blood n bits of stuff and is out of breath! Then Jesus says 'Look Peter! Look! I can see your house from ere!
7. Big OzzieSalvaged from archive14 Dec 2006, 10:25
   ....we're ALL gonna BURN IN HELL! :twisted:
8. BrixtonSalvaged from archive14 Dec 2006, 10:42
   ....we're ALL gonna BURN IN HELL! :twisted: :twisted: :lol: Not sure if this was the way this thread was intended to go...lol
9. Jack KlompusSalvaged from archive14 Dec 2006, 12:29
   Love "1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing. 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
10. !NV!CTUSSalvaged from archive14 Dec 2006, 22:50
    ....we're ALL gonna BURN IN HELL! :twisted: :twisted: :lol: Not sure if this was the way this thread was intended to go...lol heheh it wasnt .. but its cool.. waheheh..
11. BishopSalvaged from archive15 Dec 2006, 01:07
    my favorite Biblical passage... Behold, I come quickly but my favorite thing about the bible i found in this pdf file. had to upload it so u guys can check it out. site this the next time u get into religious arguements in another thread lol... 101 Contradictions In The Bible http://www.geocities.com/theoriginaljay/contradictions.pdf
12. tgd_02Salvaged from archive15 Dec 2006, 14:54
    fuck u and the bible
13. BishopSalvaged from archive15 Dec 2006, 22:28
    lick balls... i dont read the fucking thing, im more of an audiobook kinda guy anyway lol
14. Big OzzieSalvaged from archive15 Dec 2006, 22:30
    You should read the Bible...it will scare the Hell out of you!
15. BishopSalvaged from archive15 Dec 2006, 22:50
    actually i got some of it on audiobook, ill get around to it... has the bonus of being read by JOHNNY FUCKING CASH BABY!!! WOOOOT http://www.amazon.com/Johnny-Cash-Reads-Complete-Testamen…
16. blaikeSalvaged from archive16 Dec 2006, 17:10
    Hehe love that Family guy quote with Stewey. I forget the words but he talks about how he loves this "God who kills people with meteorites floods words. People getting nailed to 2x4's" or so mething along those lines. And Bishop, that pdf thing is something along the lines I've been looking for, except in more detail... A lot of things in that pdf is easily mistakable such as 500,000 men or 470,000. But some stuff like becoming king at 8 or 18... thats a bit of a difference. Haha since I go to a Private School, I think I might print that out and leave copies around school.

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