| Author | Message |
|---|
Cheb
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 3 Jan 2006, 11:43 · [Salvaged from Archive]
(It is said) Homsis are not suppose to be too bright. This is a joke I found funny.
"One day, a Homsi worker was working on the thirteenth floor of a building when a man came running to him shouting:
"Omar, Omar... your daughter Layla just died in an accident". Omar was in panic ... not knowing what to do, he jumped from the 13th floor. While going down, he was near the tenth floor, when he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Layla! When he was near the fifth floor, he remembered he was not married! When he was about to hit the ground, he remembered he was not Omar." |
Grimmancer
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 3 Jan 2006, 14:20 · [Salvaged from Archive]
LMFAO
Good one Cheb :):):) |
Cheb
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 4 Jan 2006, 05:33 · [Salvaged from Archive]
haha thanks ;)
Here is another, long but pretty funny:
A couple was invited to a masked costume Halloween party. The wife got a
terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He,
being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was
going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his
good time to be spoiled by not going.
So he took his Batman costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping
soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain, and, as it was still
early, decided to go to the party.
In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought
he would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when
he was not with him.
She put on a Goldilocks costume. So she joined the party and soon
spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with
every nice chick he cuddle and copping a little feel here and a little
kiss there.
His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he
left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her.
She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
After some more to drink he finally whispered a little proposition in
her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a
quickie in the back seat.
Just before unmasking , she slipped away and went home and put her
costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he
would make up for his outrageous behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of
time he had.
"Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're
not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got
there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the
spare room and played poker all evening."
"You must have looked really silly wearing that Batman costume playing
poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm. To which the husband
replied, actually, I gave my Batman costume to your Dad. Apparently he
had a whale of a time. He told me he got lucky with a hottie in a
Goldilocks outfit"
Moral of the story: Don't try to sneak up on your man!!! |
Grimmancer
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 7 Jan 2006, 20:33 · [Salvaged from Archive]
hahahaha thats a keeper... |
andrexote
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 25 Jan 2006, 10:00 · [Salvaged from Archive]
cheb u are damn right! |
Rocker Kid
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 6 Feb 2006, 09:09 · [Salvaged from Archive]
OOOOOOOOOOO SICK!!!!!! WRONG!!!!! LOL LOL LOL. Another ending would be: a couple days she found out she was pregnant. |
Henyo
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 1 Mar 2006, 23:53 · [Salvaged from Archive]
LOL
but
wtf is a Homsi? |
Overlord
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 5 Mar 2006, 01:32 · [Salvaged from Archive]
LOLOLOL
GREAT JOKE! |
donna_meghan
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 6 Mar 2006, 03:52 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Loved the story about Omar .. it really sounds like a 'blonde' story.
Thanks
Donna & Meghan :D :D :D |
Cheb
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 15 Mar 2006, 17:32 · [Salvaged from Archive]
:)
Well Homs is a city in Syria. Therefore a Homsi is someone from Homs. ;) |
Cheb
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 15 Mar 2006, 18:16 · [Salvaged from Archive]
A couple more I like:
1)
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
while he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes!
He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.
If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.
This guy is probably very dangerous.
If he gets angry, he'll kill us.
Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he is gay, thought that you are cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it was in the bathroom.
Be strong honey. I love you too"
2)
A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy left.
A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours." The guy left. A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop a nd asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and half." The guy left. The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey Bill, do me a favour. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back. A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?" Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said, "Your house." |
