| Author | Message |
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patongsting
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 27 Feb 2006, 01:32 · [Salvaged from Archive]
A young man moved into a new apartment on his own, and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming..."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears!" Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts, they are full and 100% natural! I work out every day! My butt is firm and solid! Look at my skin -- no blemishes anywhere! How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears? Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming? That was me."
Mr. and Mrs. Whale :oops:
Mr. and Mrs. Whale are swimming along in the ocean when they come across some stranded sailors in a lifeboat. Mr. says to Mrs. Whale, "Hey, go blow some bubbles under their boat and see what happens!" "I don't know," Mrs. Whale says, "well, ok." So she gets right under the boat and start blowing bubbles. Suddenly the boat turns over and all the sailors are in the water. "That was Great!" Mr. Whale says, " Hey, eat some and see how they taste!" "Look," says Mrs. Whale, "I went along with your blow job but NO WAY am I going to swallow any Seamen" |
patongsting
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 27 Feb 2006, 01:42 · [Salvaged from Archive]
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads:
SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 10 MILES.
He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says:
SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 5 MILES
He realizes that these signs are for real. Then he drives past a third sign saying:
SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT
His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: SISTERS OF MERCY
He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?"
He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."
"Very well, my son. Please follow me."
He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door, and tells the man, "Please knock on this door." He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup. This nun instructs, "Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway."
He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup.
He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him.
As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:
GO IN PEACE, YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF MERCY. |
Rajit25
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 27 Feb 2006, 05:05 · [Salvaged from Archive]
thats not very nice...
what the sisters did. had i known would have ignored sign...
:lol: |
spyder99gst
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 28 Feb 2006, 07:43 · [Salvaged from Archive]
good patong! made me laugh. |
Justanordinaryaverageguy
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 16 Jun 2006, 15:15 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Been there done that (insane laughter) |
