| Author | Message |
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cymru am byth
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 2 Sept 2006, 19:18 · [Salvaged from Archive]
EDITED FOR RACIAL CONTENT ACE1875
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Q: Whats two foot tall and stands at the end of a little girls bed?
A: Gary Glitters Boots
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A bat comes back to the cave with blood all over his face, hang on the wall of the cave and goes to sleep, after a few minutes the other bats smell the blood, they ask the bat where he got his blood from, but he just said piss off man I wanna get some sleep but the other bats keep asking him where he got it from, so he gave up and lead them out of the cave over a river and in the forest the bat stopped and said do you see that big tree there and about 300 of them go yep yep and the bat says well I fucking didnt!!
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A mans wife dies whilst on holiday in Israel. The officials tell him that they can bury her there for £150 or they can prepare the body and fly it home for £15000.The husband says that he wants her flown home, but the officials cant understand this.
Why would you pay all that money to fly her home when you can give her a perfectly good funeral here for £150? they ask
Well says the husband, 2000 years ago a man died in this country and in three days he rose from the dead. I just cant take the same fucking chance.
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Two condoms walking down the street when they pass a gay nightclub and one of them turned to the other and said hey Johnny, you fancy going to get shit-faced.
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Jack is on his deathbed, and he says to his wife, Can you give me one last wish? She says, Anything you want. He says, After I die, will you marry Larry? She says, But I thought you hated Larry. With his last breath, he says, I do.
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A salesman knocks at the door of a home and its answered by a 12yr old boy with a bong full of weed in one hand and a half empty bottle of scotch in the other. The salesman asks the boy, Excuse me son but is your mom or dad in? To which the boy replies, Does it fucking look like it? |
