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Ace1875
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 27 Nov 2006, 17:31 · [Salvaged from Archive]
.....American Desi (Indian Movie)......Post your fav movies quotes also
Eric: I'm hungry. Did your mom give you some of her spicy balls?
Krishna: Don't ever say "spicy balls" and "your mom" in the same sentence.
Krishna: They've decided to try this new policy by housing people by major. It's kinda like when we were in kindergarten.
[Picks up a picture and tosses it at Eric]
Krishna: Remember that, eh? When they grouped us by animals? You're gonna sit at the giraffe table, and-and you're gonna sit at the kangaroo table... Ever notice how every dumb kid always sat at the otter table? Every dumb ass I ever met always say at the otter table. I think they were trying to be nice by not calling them dumb to their face, you know?
Eric: Hey! I sat at the otter table!
[Eric and Krishna are in the car. Krishna turns on the car and Hindi music begins to play]
Krishna: Oh man!
Eric: Dude, is that the new one from Third Eye Blind?
Eric: Hey Kris, you know that ceremony that your mom performed?
Krishna: Don't ask me anything about it. I just wait there 'til she finishes.
Eric: She was blessing us right? We're not married or anything?
Krishna: What?
Eric: It's just that I saw this documentary on the Discovery Channel, and it said that the dot was a symbol of marriage.
Krishna: Look man, whatever it means, If I were you, I'd wipe that shit off your forehead before you start attracting Hari Krishnas or something.
Jagjit: Hey Salim, did you ever see that episode of Gilligan's Island where the personalities got switched?
Salim: I know what you mean, somewhere in Jersey there is a black man driving around in a Honda Accord and praying to Lord Ganesh.
Girl at Lunch: Really? My brother lived with some Indians out in New Mexico, a couple of years ago, and he told me they like to get drunk, naked, and dance around at the moonlight.
Krishna: Hi, buy me a pizza?
Nina: Excuse me?
Krishna: Buy me a pizza.
Nina: Buy you a pizza?
Krishna: Yeah I'm really hungry and I'm totally tapped out of cash and I know this great pizza place around the corner. And I was wondering if you'd buy me a pizza?
Nina: No are you crazy, I'm not gonna buy you a pizza. I don't know if you know how this works but you're the one buying me a pizza.
Krishna: Okay.
Nina: Okay what?
Krishna: Okay I'll buy you a pizza, all you had to do was ask.
Nina: Wait a minute, you just said that you were tapped out of cash.
Krishna: I am, but it's not everyday that beautiful girl, like yourself, asks a guy like me out to pizza. Trust me, I'll find a away to scrap up the money.
Nina: Cute. Very cute. I never heard a pickup line that devious before. I may have to try it myself sometime.
[Rao breaks the eraser off his pencil]
Gautam Rao: Oh Shit! Does anyone have a rubber? Miss, you must have a little rubber in your purse. I need a little rubber
[Watching Indian Movies]
Krishna: This is driving me crazy!... It's been 10 minutes, aren't we due for another song-and-dance sequence?
[Song-and-dance sequence begins]
Krishna: Good I was starting to get worried... What is this? The next day? They've all changed clothes!... I've seen porno films with better storylines than this, honestly!
[Rakesh and Nina leave in aggravation]
Jagjit: Good job, yaar. Insulting Hindi films and admitting to watching Porno.
Salim: Maybe next time you can mention your bout with gonorrhea.
Nina: It's an email from Jagjit. Oh listen to this: "Loyal friend seeks suitable alliance for big-mouthed but well-intentioned roommate. Nineteen years, 5'11". Currently pursuing a degree in engineering. US Citizen... Girl should be very open-minded and understanding"
Priya: Oh that is so cute! Oh my god, you have to go!
Nina: No way, it's gonna take more than a fungal ad to makeup for last night.
[Nina gets another email and is reading it]
Nina: "Okay, how about a nice home-cooked dinner?"
[looks around and see Jagjit in front of her]
Nina: Jagjit...
Jagjit: Come by the apartment at 8 o'clock tonight. You will be amazed. AND NO INDIAN STANDARD TIME! | jaba
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 27 Nov 2006, 19:55 · [Salvaged from Archive]
"Fuck off I'm full!" Mr Creosote. :mrgreen: (wafer thin) | shawmutt
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 27 Nov 2006, 19:58 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Bartender: Shaken or stirred?
Bond: Does it look like I give a damn?
Casino Royale | Colzi
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 27 Nov 2006, 20:24 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Bartender: Shaken or stirred?
Bond: Does it look like I give a damn?
Casino Royale
Did he say that hysterics! ( I aint seen in BTW)
Good idea ACE i suspect this thread will get a fair few posts! :wink: | jaba
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 27 Nov 2006, 21:38 · [Salvaged from Archive]
"You're gonna need a bigger boat!" Jaws :P | loadrunner
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 28 Nov 2006, 13:33 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Pulp fiction
Jules: What does Marcellus Wallace look like?
Brett: What?
Jules: What country you from?
Brett: What?
Jules: What ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What?
Brett: What?
Jules: ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?
Brett: Yes!
Jules: Then you know what I'm saying!
Brett: Yes!
Jules: Describe what Marcellus Wallace looks like!
Brett: What, I-?
Jules: [pointing his gun] Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say what one more goddamn time.
Brett: He's b-b-black...
Jules: Go on.
Brett: He's bald...
Jules: Does he look like a bitch?
Brett: What?
[Jules shoots Brett in shoulder]
Jules: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
Brett: No!
Jules: Then why you try to fuck him like a bitch, Brett?
Brett: I didn't.
Jules: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to fuck him. And Marcellus Wallace don't like to be fucked by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace. | Ace1875
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 28 Nov 2006, 13:38 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Bartender: Shaken or stirred?
Bond: Does it look like I give a damn?
Casino Royale
Did he say that hysterics! ( I aint seen in BTW)
Good idea ACE i suspect this thread will get a fair few posts! :wink:
THANX MAN
and yeah its posted on my site. | AllisterFiend
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 28 Nov 2006, 22:32 · [Salvaged from Archive]
"A naked American man stole my balloons. " -American werewolf in London. | jaba
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 28 Nov 2006, 23:41 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Your only supposed tah blow the bloody doors off! The Italian Job :mrgreen: | Colzi
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 1 Dec 2006, 23:20 · [Salvaged from Archive]
BRAVEHEART-
William Wallace:
Aye, fight and you may die, run, and you'll live... at least for a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM! | jaba
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 1 Dec 2006, 23:33 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Ah don't dig on swine! Pulp Fiction. :shock: | tgd_02
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 1 Dec 2006, 23:42 · [Salvaged from Archive]
*phone sounds
marijuana affects the memory
-halfbaked | crazyjoe
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 3 Dec 2006, 04:12 · [Salvaged from Archive]
from blues brothers
Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. | sil656
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 18 Jan 2007, 09:22 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Jurassic Park (1993)
Sir Richard Attenborough (John Hammond): All major theme parks have delays. When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked.
Jeff Goldblum (Ian): Yeah, but John, if the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists. | cymru am byth
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 18 Jan 2007, 09:35 · [Salvaged from Archive]
BRIANS MOTHER - he's not the messiah he's a very naughty boy, now go away - the life of brian
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PONTIUS PILATE:
...Make one large living awea. Ahh.
CENTURION:
Hail Caesar.
PILATE:
Hail.
CENTURION:
Only one survivor, sir.
PILATE:
Ah. Thwow him to the floor.
CENTURION:
What, sir?
PILATE:
Thwow him to the floor.
CENTURION:
Ah.
[whump]
BRIAN:
Aagh!
PILATE:
Hmm. Now, what is your name, Jew?
BRIAN:
'Brian', sir.
PILATE:
'Bwian', eh?
BRIAN:
No, no. 'Brian'.
[slap]
Aah!
PILATE:
Hoo hoo hoo ho. The little wascal has spiwit.
CENTURION:
Has what, sir?
PILATE:
Spiwit.
CENTURION:
Yes. He did, sir.
PILATE:
No, no. Spiwit, siw. Um, bwavado. A touch of dewwing-do.
CENTURION:
Oh. Ahh, about eleven, sir.
PILATE:
So, you dare to waid us.
BRIAN:
To what, sir?
PILATE:
Stwike him, Centuwion, vewy woughly!
[slap]
BRIAN:
Aaah!
CENTURION:
Oh, and, uh, throw him to the floor, sir?
PILATE:
What?
CENTURION:
Thwow him to the floor again, sir?
PILATE:
Oh, yes. Thwow him to the floor, please.
BRIAN:
Aah!
[whump]
PILATE:
Now, Jewish wapscallion.
BRIAN:
I'm not Jewish. I'm a Roman.
PILATE:
A Woman?
BRIAN:
No, no. Roman.
[slap]
Aah!
PILATE:
So, your father was a Woman. Who was he?
BRIAN:
He was a centurion in the Jerusalem Garrisons.
PILATE:
Weally? What was his name?
BRIAN:
'Nortius Maximus'.
CENTURION:
Ahh, ha ha!
PILATE:
Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison?
CENTURION:
Well, no, sir.
PILATE:
Well, you sound vewy sure. Have you checked?
CENTURION:
Well, no, sir. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir,... like, uh, 'Sillius Soddus' or... 'Biggus Dickus', sir.
GUARD #4:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
What's so... funny about 'Biggus Dickus'?
CENTURION:
Well, it's a joke name, sir.
PILATE:
I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.
GUARD #4:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that.
BRIAN:
Can I go now, sir?
[slap]
Aaah! Eh.
PILATE:
Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this.
GUARD #4:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
Wight! Take him away!
CENTURION:
Oh, sir, he-- he only--
PILATE:
No, no. I want him fighting wabid, wild animals within a week.
CENTURION:
Yes, sir. Come on, you.
GUARD #4:
Ha ha haa ha, ha ha ha. Hooo hooo hoo hoo. Hoo hoo...
PILATE:
I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. Anybody else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus...
GUARD #1:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
...Dickus?
GUARD #1:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
What about you? Do you find it... wisible... when I say the name
'Biggus'...
GUARD #3:
[chuckle]
PILATE:
...'Dickus'?
GUARD #1 and GUARD #2:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's called... 'Incontinentia'. 'Incontinentia Buttocks'.
GUARDS:
[laughing]
PILATE:
Stop! What is all this?
GUARDS:
Ha, ha ha ha ha ha...
PILATE:
I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behaviour. Silence! Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards? You're not-- Seize him! Seize him! Blow your noses and seize him!
-THE LIFE OF BRIAN
[trumpets]
CROWD:
[cheering]
PILATE:
People of Jewusalem!
CROWD:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
Wome is your fwiend.
CROWD:
[laughing]
PILATE:
To pwove our fwiendship, it is customawy at this time to welease a wongdoer fwom our pwisons.
CROWD:
[laughing]
GUARD #3:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
Whom would you have me welease?
BOB HOSKINS:
Welease Woger!
CROWD:
Yes! Welease Woger! Welease Woger! [laughing]
PILATE:
Vewy well. I shall welease Woger!
CROWD:
[cheering]
CENTURION:
Sir, uh, we don't have a 'Woger', sir.
PILATE:
What?
CENTURION:
Uh, we don't have anyone of that name, sir.
PILATE:
Ah. We have no 'Woger'!
CROWD:
Ohhhhh!
BOB:
Well, what about Wodewick, then?
CROWD:
Yes! Welease Wodewick! Welease Wodewick!
PILATE:
Centuwion, why do they titter so?
CENTURION:
Just some, uh, Jewish joke, sir.
PILATE:
Are they... wagging me?
CENTURION:
Oh, no, sir!
GUARD #3:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
Vewy well. I shall welease... Wodewick!
CROWD:
[laughing]
CENTURION:
Sir, we don't have a 'Roderick' either.
PILATE:
No 'Woger'? No 'Wodewick'?
CENTURION:
Sorry, sir.
PILATE:
Who is this 'Wod'--
GUARD #1:
[chuckle]
PILATE:
Who is the 'Wodewick' to whom you wefer?
BOB:
He's a wobber!
CROWD:
[laughing]
MAN:
And a wapist!
CROWD:
[laughing]
WOMAN:
And a pickpocket!
CROWD:
Yeah! Ahh, no! No! Shh! Shh!...
PILATE:
He sounds a notowious cwiminal.
CENTURION:
We haven't got him, sir. Mm hm.
PILATE:
Do we have anyone in our pwisons at all?
CENTURION:
Oh, yes, sir. We've got, uh, 'Samson', sir.
PILATE:
Samson?
CENTURION:
Samson the Sadducee Strangler, sir. Uh, Silus the Syrian Assassin. Uh, several seditious scribes from Caesarea. Uhhh, sixty-seven seers from--
BIGGUS:
Let me thpeak to them, Pontiuth!
CENTURION:
Oh, no. Oh.
PILATE:
Ah. Good idea, Biggus.
BIGGUS:
Thitizens! We have Thamthon the Thadduthee Thtrangler, Thilus
CROWD:
[laughing]
BIGGUS:
...the Athyrian Athathin, theveral theditiouth thcribth from Thaetharea, and...
- THE LIFE OF BRIAN again
i could go on and on, the film is pure class from begining to end | Ace1875
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 19 Jan 2007, 16:42 · [Salvaged from Archive]
^^^LMFAO
zZHe8hPNW-k | DandruffBGone
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 19 Jan 2007, 16:51 · [Salvaged from Archive]
"I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"
Dirty Harry. | Spleen
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 19 Jan 2007, 16:56 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Haha, I love that part.
I got a monty python boxset for xmas and still aint for round to watching it all yet.
I think Life Of Brian has more funny parts overall, but Holy Grail has more intensly funny parts.
I love the quote from The Shawshank Redeption when Captain Hadley says to that fat twat 'What is your malfunction, you fat barrel of monkey spunk?' | cymru am byth
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 30 Mar 2007, 22:05 · [Salvaged from Archive]
sorry, bored and a bit drunk, went hunting around old posts and decided to ressurect this one:-
blazin' saddles
ecHNI-Tlk1g
WPcLPzItOQs
Km7WD8wkb1c
R6dm9rN6oTs |
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