| Author | Message |
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Vanguard
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 19 Dec 2006, 13:49 · [Salvaged from Archive]
In case you haven't received them yet, here are this year's Darwin
Awards -- the annual honor given to the person who improved the "gene pool" the most by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.
As always, competition this year has been keen. And the candidates this
year are.............
* In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of
water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to
retrieve his car keys.
* A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he
ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
* Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug
into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel
Jones, 21, dug the! hole f or fun, or protection from the wind, and had been
sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it
collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the
outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to
Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took
rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while
about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
* Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell
face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was
caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his
hands free) rammed into the base of ! his sku ll as he hit the floor.
* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won
a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with
four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
3rd place - Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andovertownship, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit the
dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.
2nd place - * TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when
one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-ju! mped fr om the
Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable
tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his
fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen.
"All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on
that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was
never located.
Winner
* Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed
his constipated! elepha nt Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more
than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on
him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked
Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay
unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of
him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no
one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour
before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It
seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves that "SHit happens." |
PA
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 19 Dec 2006, 14:17 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Winner
* Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed
his constipated! elepha nt Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more
than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on
him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked
Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay
unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of
him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no
one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour
before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It
seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves that "SHit happens."
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y10/beercandle/hahaha/a6… |
Clouds in the Sky
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 19 Dec 2006, 14:27 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Death by elephant shit...Who would of thought? |
Heero Valentine
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 19 Dec 2006, 14:44 · [Salvaged from Archive]
:D i wonder what the are going to put on the gravestone :roll: |
DandruffBGone
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 19 Dec 2006, 14:50 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Felled by pachyderm poop?...............stunned! |
Heero Valentine
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 19 Dec 2006, 14:52 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Felled by pachyderm poop?...............stunned!
i would laugh my ass off if that was on the gravestone :lol: |
tgd_02
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 19 Dec 2006, 15:02 · [Salvaged from Archive]
why arent u assholes on here?
o
u aint dead
pity..pity... |
Big Ozzie
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 19 Dec 2006, 15:03 · [Salvaged from Archive]
LOL...Check this out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwMblPClqWA |
Heero Valentine
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 19 Dec 2006, 15:06 · [Salvaged from Archive]
LOL...Check this out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwMblPClqWA
lol i know this one :D dumb mofo that guy! i mean never let your guard down near an elephant ass |
DandruffBGone
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 19 Dec 2006, 15:31 · [Salvaged from Archive]
What a shitty way to go! |
DandruffBGone
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 19 Dec 2006, 15:33 · [Salvaged from Archive]
http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p152/pigsontoast/crapp… |
Colzi
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 19 Dec 2006, 18:37 · [Salvaged from Archive]
hysterics everyting thats on this thread ^ ^ |
blaike
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 20 Dec 2006, 01:26 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Hm... I must say I'm disappointed at the Winner. I've heard that like a billion times.
The Dynamite one and the Drowning one were pretty good :P |
verticalkiller
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 20 Dec 2006, 01:55 · [Salvaged from Archive]
That elephant poo one isn't true, I read the same damn story in the weekly world news and everyone knows thats fake. |
DandruffBGone
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 20 Dec 2006, 13:50 · [Salvaged from Archive]
http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p152/pigsontoast/eleph… |
jaba
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 20 Dec 2006, 13:56 · [Salvaged from Archive]
You know what the jungles biggest drawback is?
An elephant's foreskin. :mrgreen: |
