| Author | Message |
|---|
cymru am byth
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 14 Jan 2007, 20:48 · [Salvaged from Archive]
The Guys' Ruleshahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. |
gotstuck
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 16 Jan 2007, 04:14 · [Salvaged from Archive]
i have to say"wow" |
DandruffBGone
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 16 Jan 2007, 04:18 · [Salvaged from Archive]
This is the ONLY one I don't agree with:
"1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!" |
The Joker
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 16 Jan 2007, 04:33 · [Salvaged from Archive]
That is genius..i felt like ...i cant even explain it...it hit everything !!! |
Fireball
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 17 Jan 2007, 01:12 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Wow that was sweet good job man. :D |
Ace1875
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 17 Jan 2007, 07:47 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Ctrl+A -> Ctrl+C -> Ctrl+V -> Ctrl+S -> ;) |
Farelli
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 4 Feb 2007, 07:36 · [Salvaged from Archive]
yeah how i feel about that is beyond words. excellent work. |
Rocker Kid
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 12 Feb 2007, 03:29 · [Salvaged from Archive]
The Guys' Rules*******************
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
-OK
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
-Dude just put it down. Especially if its her house.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
-AGREED Love me some sports
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
-Of cousre shopping is NOT a sport! Only the most ignorent woman drags her boyfriend off shopping anyway
1. Crying is blackmail.
-Eh? Can't handle a woman crying?
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
-Yes men are too stupid to get hints. Just tell them they're very simple creatures.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
-'Kay
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
-You can't give a little sympathy???? But problem solving yes!
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
-Agreed
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
-Agreed don't hold grudges
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
-Kay
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
-Don't ask men, only ignorat women do that
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
-OK we know you mean well
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
-OK...... not hard really.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
-That goes for men too.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
-Actually yeah Colombus got lost alot.... But I'll pretend you're on the right track until we reach Albequerky and then laugh my ass off.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
-Ok
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
-Not in front of me or in public and wash your hands thoroly and we have a deal
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
-pretty lame, grow up
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
-Kay.....
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
-I know I look good in everything I don't need to ask you
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
-Sure.....
1. You have enough clothes.
-Don't worry I'll buy my own
1. You have too many shoes.
-Actually no I don't but you're not buying them for me so it's not your business
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
-Only if you're comfortable with that being my shape as well- didn't think so
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
-No problem.
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
You kiddin' me? have fun with an ache of some sort in the morning
My answers to the "rules". I can follow most but others I mean c'mon act like an adult. |
jaba
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 12 Feb 2007, 04:17 · [Salvaged from Archive]
My answers to the "rules". I can follow most but others I mean c'mon act like an adult.
RK! ^^^^ Jokes, Humour and Pranks! LMFAO :1bluewinky: |
Rocker Kid
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 14 Feb 2007, 23:21 · [Salvaged from Archive]
RK! ^^^^ Jokes, Humour and Pranks! LMFAO :1bluewinky:
:1orglaugh: :1orglaugh: :1orglaugh: |
SurfSarge
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 15 Feb 2007, 00:28 · [Salvaged from Archive]
This is fantastic ctrl+c ctrl+v to email the wife :xyxthumbs: :D |
cymru am byth
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 13 Mar 2007, 10:30 · [Salvaged from Archive]
My answers to the "rules". I can follow most but others I mean c'mon act like an adult.
:eek: :eek: :eek: :1orglaugh: |
phyuckew
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 30 May 2007, 05:05 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Geez, you forgot something...
PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT
This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2007, by_______________________, between ____________and______________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup, " unless you are from
out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
9. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.
10. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
11. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
12. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the
fuck home.
13. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
14. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
15. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's
girlfriend."
16. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.
18. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.
19. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.
Participating Party
Signature ___________________
Date: _______________
Participating Party
Signature_____________________
Date: ________________ |
Jegar
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 13 Jun 2007, 23:40 · [Salvaged from Archive]
This is the ONLY one I don't agree with:
"1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!"
Why not? It makes sence and are both sarcastic and funny in it's way |
