The Forum › Jokes, Humor and Pranks FileCabi.net Forum (2007–2008)

a few more

1. cymru am bythSalvaged from archive31 Aug 2006, 17:00
   After her sons recent wedding, the mother, who still has a key to her sons house, enters the premises. There she found her daughter-in-law lying naked on the lounge, doused in perfume & candles burning in the room. ‘What on earth are you doing?’ said the mother-in-law. ‘You’re naked.’ ‘No,’ said the daughter-in-law ‘I’m wearing my love dress. When my husband comes home after work & sees me in my love dress, he makes wild passionate love to me all night long.’ Not a bad idea, thought the mother-in-law. She went home, had a long bubble bath, lit candles in the lounge, doused herself with perfume & lay naked on the sofa waiting for her husband. The door opens, he enters & to his surprise he says: ‘What on earth are you doing? You’re naked!’ ‘No,’ she said, ‘I’m wearing my love dress.’ ‘Well,’ said the husband, ‘look’s like it needs ironing! Whats for dinner?’ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A 13 year old boy came home happy. His mum asked, “What did you do at school today hunny?” “Oh i had sex with my teacher,” he said calmly. The mother began to scream and yell and sent him to his room until his father got home. When his father got home his mother said distroutly and close to tears, “Go talk to your son…he had sex with his teaher today!!!!!!!!” His dad with a BIG grin on his face walked upstairs. He asked his son what happened at school and the son told him. His dad said “Son i’m so proud of you and i’m going to get you that bike you’ve always wanted.” They go out and buy the bike and his father asked him if he wanted to ride it home and the son replied, “Nah dad my arse is still sore.” -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Four things you never say in a gay bar. 1. Fuck me! it’s hot in here! 2. I’ll toss you for the next drink 3. Do you mind if I push your stool in? 4. Can I bum a fag? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mrs Murphy went to see her Doctor to ask about going on the Birth Control Pill, “I cant Prescribe that for you Mrs Murphy, your already 7mths Pregnant !!” “You have to Doctor” said Mrs Murphy “Paddy my Husband has found another hole, and I dont want a lump like this on me back !!!” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Little Patrick asks for a bike for xmas. His dad says “We’d get you one but our mortgage is eighty thousand and your mum has just lost her job”. Next day Patrick walked out with his suitcase packed, his dad asks ” Where ya goin son ?” Patrick replied ” I walked past your room last night and heard you tell mum you were pullin out, then I heard mum tell you to wait coz she was comin too. Im not stayin here on me own with an eighty thousand mortgage and no fucken bike”. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two pregnant Irish women sitting knitting jumpers, one says “I hope mine’s a boy cos’ I’ve got blue wool” the other one says “I hope mine is a spastic cos’ I just fucked the arm!” -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A bull, a lion and a chicken were discussing who was the toughest. The Bull said “when I snort and bow my head, everyone in the field is worried”. The Lion said “when I roar, everyone in the jungle is frightened”. “That’s nothing” said the chicken “when I sneeze, the whole world shits itself” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: why are women and hurricanes similar? A: when they come they are wet and wild, when they go they take your house and your car
2. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive31 Aug 2006, 23:08
   Q: why are women and hurricanes similar? A: when they come they are wet and wild, when they go they take your house and your car :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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