The Forum › Jokes, Humor and Pranks FileCabi.net Forum (2007–2008)

welsh jokes as promised

1. cymru am bythSalvaged from archive4 Sept 2006, 00:40
   Wales, where the men are men and the sheep are nervous... Q: What do you call a sheep tied to a fence in Wales? A: A leisure centre. Q. What do you call a Welshman with many girlfriends? A. A Shepherd. Q. Did you hear that Welsh people have discovered a new use for sheep? A. Wool. A man moves to a village in Wales and gets talking to an old man from the village. He asks the old man what his name is, but the old man gets very irate at this point and says: - See that line of houses over there? I built them all, but do they call me Jones the house builder? Do they hell! - See those railway lines over there? I laid them all, but do they call me Jones the engineer? Do they hell! - See those bridges over that river? I built them all, but do they call me Jones the bridge builder? Do they hell! - But, a long long time ago, I fucked ONE sheep... The Welsh Assembly announced recently the opening of Wales's second airport, the Gurnos Estate International Airport in Merthyr Tydfil. The first flight to arrive was the 11.50 Virgin Airlines Cross-Atlantic flight from America. The people from Gurnos estate were so excited that they raced to meet the flight, as it was the first Virgin seen in the area for 20 years. The return journey to America was due for departure at 12.30, but it was delayed because when the pilot went to the aircraft he found it up on blocks and stripped to the bone. As a result every house in the Gurnos now has a new hall carpet, every lounge now has a reclining chair, every bed has new pillow cases, and Mrs Bowen who is living on the end of the street has a new number for the house, number 747 Three men are sitting in the maternity ward. One is an Englishman, one a Welshman and the other a Jamaican. Suddenly the doctor comes and says, “Gentlemen, your wives have all had little boys! However in the confusion we may have mixed the babies up. Could you come to the nursery to help us identify them?" The Welshman ran to the nursery, picked up a dark-skinned baby with dreadlocks and said, “This boy is mine.” The surprised doctor said, “But this child looks Jamaican.” “True,” said the Welshman “but there is a fifty fifty chance that one of the others is English, and I’m not taking the risk Llywelyn from Lampeter comes to a river and sees Dai on the opposite bank. He shouts, “How do I get to the other side?” Dai shouts back, “You are on the other side.” Gwilym from Aberystwyth calls the hospital. “You’ve got to send help! My wife is having a baby!” The nurse says, “Calm down. Is this her first child?” Gwilym answers, “No! This is her bloody husband!” Why do the Welsh fuck sheep on cliff edges? So the sheep push back harder! Why do Welsh horses run so fast? Because they have seen what the farmers do to the sheep! What do you call a Welsh farmer with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other? Bisexual! Three tourists were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter one asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" The girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiiiing." What's brown and pink and comes out of a sheep's arse? A Welshman's cock! What's the most common lie a Welshman tells? "I was only trying to help that sheep over the fence!" A Welshman was counting his sheep. "205, 206, 207, Hello darling, 208, 209......" The Welsh farmer's wife gave him a plate of grass for his dinner. "What the hell is this?" he screamed. "Well," replied his wife, "If it's good enough for your girlfriend, then it's good enough for you!"
2. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive4 Sept 2006, 01:48
   Q. Did you hear that Welsh people have discovered a new use for sheep? A. Wool. lol Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch is that a real place? lol
3. great1Salvaged from archive4 Sept 2006, 05:31
   This is only a guess now, but i'm assuming that Welshmen are known for fucking sheep.
4. snufftelectSalvaged from archive4 Sept 2006, 09:36
   Three men are sitting in the maternity ward. One is an Englishman, one a Welshman and the other a Jamaican. Suddenly the doctor comes and says, “Gentlemen, your wives have all had little boys! However in the confusion we may have mixed the babies up. Could you come to the nursery to help us identify them?" The Welshman ran to the nursery, picked up a dark-skinned baby with dreadlocks and said, “This boy is mine.” The surprised doctor said, “But this child looks Jamaican.” “True,” said the Welshman “but there is a fifty fifty chance that one of the others is English, and I’m not taking the risk :lol: And Alliserfiend: are you serious? :lol:
5. cymru am bythSalvaged from archive4 Sept 2006, 10:39
   yep, Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch is a the real name of a village in north wales, i can't remember the translation but it's somthing about a white church, a cave and a red pool, i think it offically the longest placename in the world
6. SpleenSalvaged from archive4 Sept 2006, 10:51
   My mate moved to wales recently and his village is called something incredibly stupid.
7. cymru am bythSalvaged from archive4 Sept 2006, 11:52
   This is only a guess now, but i'm assuming that Welshmen are known for fucking sheep. one of the main industries in wales is sheep farming because the country is so mountainous, therefore like new zeland (where apparently there are about 3 sheep to every human) we have been labelled sheepshaggers by the reast of the uk [/quote]
8. SpleenSalvaged from archive4 Sept 2006, 12:36
   Just like the Scots are all alcoholic crossdressers, and the Irish are all idiotic fools. The English are damn perfect though. :wink: :P
9. AvalonerSalvaged from archive4 Sept 2006, 13:23
   you are all islandapes MUAHAHHAA
10. Commando80Salvaged from archive5 Sept 2006, 17:22
    yep, Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch is a the real name of a village in north wales, i can't remember the translation but it's somthing about a white church, a cave and a red pool, i think it offically the longest placename in the world I dont want to even TRY to pronounce that. >.>
11. snufftelectSalvaged from archive5 Sept 2006, 19:30
    you are all islandapes MUAHAHHAA Still kicked half of your country to communism and back though, hey? :lol: J/K

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