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I think I blew out my Ass Gasket.

1. asdfSalvaged from archive12 Sept 2006, 01:30
   A couple of weeks ago I was taking a nice big shit but something went wrong. The terd was hard, abnormally shaped, and it ripped my ass apart. I am now in terrible pain when I take a shit, like I keep opening a deep wound. I haven't been able to take a comfortable shit in many weeks and I am getting depressed about it. Taking a nice crap was one of the few things I treasured in life, that has now been taken from me. I am very sad. :(
2. longbobSalvaged from archive12 Sept 2006, 02:49
   A couple of weeks ago I was taking a nice big shit but something went wrong. The terd was hard, abnormally shaped, and it ripped my ass apart. I am now in terrible pain when I take a shit, like I keep opening a deep wound. I haven't been able to take a comfortable shit in many weeks and I am getting depressed about it. Taking a nice crap was one of the few things I treasured in life, that has now been taken from me. I am very sad. :( See your doctor before you get an infection. Sounds like you have an anal fissure. It's not serious but better treated sooner rather that later. Longbob. (Edited to include words of reASSurance ;))
3. Cymru am bythSalvaged from archive12 Sept 2006, 03:16
   yeah see your doctor, and stop eating glass
4. ShilohSalvaged from archive12 Sept 2006, 03:22
   Call NASA, tell em you need a new O-Ring... :lol:
5. Big OzzieSalvaged from archive12 Sept 2006, 05:52
   NO PROBLEMS! See a Proctologist! I know one that comes highly recomended.......DR. Ben Dover!http://www.world-of-smilies.com/html/images/smilies/krank… He has the cure, I'm sure! He will sew your BUNG HOLE up tighter than a Frog's Ass!http://www.world-of-smilies.com/html/images/smilies/tiere… Then, all the Crap will spew forth from your Mouth ...............like so many other people that we MEET!http://www.world-of-smilies.com/html/images/smilies/sonst…
6. Cymru am bythSalvaged from archive12 Sept 2006, 06:04
   NO PROBLEMS! See a Proctologist! I know one that comes highly recomended.......DR. Ben Dover! He has the cure, I'm sure! He will sew your BUNG HOLE up tighter than a Frog's Ass! Then, all the Crap will spew forth from your Mouth ...............like so many other people that we MEET![quote] if you can't get an appointment with dr ben dover you might be able to see his scottish collegue dr phil mc revice, and we all know the scots are supposed to be tight arses
7. SmashmouthSalvaged from archive12 Sept 2006, 06:58
   NO PROBLEMS! See a Proctologist! I know one that comes highly recomended.......DR. Ben Dover! He has the cure, I'm sure! He will sew your BUNG HOLE up tighter than a Frog's Ass! Then, all the Crap will spew forth from your Mouth ...............like so many other people that we MEET![quote] if you can't get an appointment with dr ben dover you might be able to see his scottish collegue dr phil mc revice, and we all know the scots are supposed to be tight arses A similarly well-qualified specialist in this field is the well-renowned Dr Phil McCracken...
8. tgd_02Salvaged from archive12 Sept 2006, 09:46
   get off the pc see a doc
9. Tho-MliASTERSalvaged from archive12 Sept 2006, 15:07
   Thanks for sharing that with us
10. Clouds in the SkySalvaged from archive12 Sept 2006, 15:17
    Want EC to kiss it all better?
11. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive12 Sept 2006, 15:44
    http://medicineworld.org/images/blogs/fiber-diet-761055.jpg
12. Big OzzieSalvaged from archive12 Sept 2006, 17:17
    http://www.colon-cleansing.org/images_templ/colon_cleansi…cleansing.org/&h=142&w=195&sz=2&hl=en&start=2&tbnid=zk41J4CEIo5bYM:&tbnh=76&tbnw=104&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%2Bsite:www.colon-cleansing.org%2Bthe%2Bcolon%26ndsp%3D20%26svnum%3D 10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26rls%3DDAUS,DAUS:2006-08,DAUS:en
13. great1Salvaged from archive12 Sept 2006, 22:59
    You've gotta see the world famous Chinese proctologist Dr. I Flung Poo
14. Big OzzieSalvaged from archive13 Sept 2006, 00:24
    Dr Ozzie Sez: "Don't eat so fast, next time you won't swallow the FORK!" In all seriousness. asdf.....is there ANY blood? Spotting on toilet tissue is a sign of internal hemorrhoids or polyps. Continued bleeding can lead to a serious infection. If lots of blood...see doctor ASAP! If it feels like there is a blockage or the stool is "like a brick" heavy and hard....try buy OTC stool softener or take some fiber in H2O....these work the fastest. Increase the amount of fiber in your diet immediately. Fiber is non-digestible filler that your body does not like to have in it....very low on benefits (vitamins or minerals) compared to many foods. Your body passes it right through and it helps to "scrub" the pipes on the way out. Drink lots of H2O....... Still problems after couple of days? Get to doc.....people die from this. STAY AWAY FROM LAXATIVES.....NO GOOD 4 U!!!!! ....an occasional H2O enema is OK, no soap or chemical, washes natural lubricating oils out of colon and this has "good" bacteria and enzymes in it

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