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Darwin Award

1. Snuff.Salvaged from archive29 Nov 2006, 08:02
   Read the following through to the end BEFORE clicking the link below. You have been warned. (Scotland) A 23-year-old painter was known by his friends as 'Death Wish' because of his reckless behaviour, which included smashing glasses on his forehead and swallowing keys and glass. The police described him as "of good health physically but of low intellect." He was generally regarded as a bit of a fool, and probably resorted to such tricks in an futile effort to increase his social standing. Frequently, he would "swallow" a pool ball and then regurgitate it. The man had successfully performed this trick on many occasions, by keeping the pool ball at the back of his pharynx, or throat. This was possible because of the unique size of a pool ball. One day, a typical day in many respects, he was seen consuming large quantities of draught lager. After closing time, the publican readmitted him to continue illegal drinking with his friends. As the evening dragged on, he was seen to place a cue ball in his mouth. He had done this so many times that his behaviour did not cause any concern. But this time, he found himself in difficulties. His friends tried to intervene, but he ran out of the pub and collapsed in the street, and began to blue. Neither his friends nor an ambulance crew were able to save his life. What went wrong? On this occasion, Death Wish had elected to swallow a cue ball. He wasn't aware that a cue ball has a physical property that makes it perfectly suited for lodging in a pharynx. A cue ball is smaller than a pool ball, so that it can be automatically recovered whenever it is potted. Unfortunately, our Darwin Award contender was oblivious to this fact. A cue ball is 4.75 cm in diameter, while pool balls are 5.03 cm. This small difference in diameter makes little difference in appearance. The beauty of this death, and the problem for Death Wish, is that a smaller diameter causes an exponentially lesser volume. A cue ball is 10.52 ml smaller than a pool ball. In his efforts to prove he wasn't a fool, Death Wish disregarded common sense and simple mathematics, and lodged the cue ball in his pharynx. In the research article which describes this mishap, there is a photo of the victim's dissected throat, complete with the lodged cue ball and a rather ugly protruding tongue. PHOTOGRAPH (http://img387.imageshack.us/img387/265/poolballly3.jpg)
2. asdfSalvaged from archive29 Nov 2006, 09:17
   I'm not registered to the forum but I never pass up a good autopsy photograph. edit - I can see how that would cause a problem, very smart.
3. QuackersSalvaged from archive29 Nov 2006, 09:23
   Now if I was into necrophila, digging up that body would put me off for life...
4. Snuff.Salvaged from archive29 Nov 2006, 12:30
   :oops: Forgot it was in that section. How'd you get it, Ace? :?
5. QuackersSalvaged from archive29 Nov 2006, 12:33
   He's probably a member lol, like me. I forgot my old username but had to resign up.
6. tgd_02Salvaged from archive29 Nov 2006, 12:35
   fucking dumbass we should make this a death method and save money on fucking needles and shit and make the cue ball making companies rich as a fucking bitch
7. lonesome on'ry & meanSalvaged from archive16 Dec 2006, 12:59
   Here is another candidate for the Darwin Award http://www.sunderland-echo.co.uk/ViewArticle2.aspx? There is a video of it but you cant see much. However here is a cartoon of the event. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v617/geordie_bravo/wron…
8. MonstermashSalvaged from archive16 Dec 2006, 14:30
   People really do the strangest things. I think the difference in the size of balls would have gone totally over his head, since common sense failed when he decided to do this trick in the first place :(
9. RhomphaiaSalvaged from archive20 Dec 2006, 08:44
   My all time favorite Darwin Award is still the dipshit in Brazil who tried dismantling a rocket propelled grenade by first running it over repeatedly with a car, then failing that, by trying a sledgehammer. It's almost as if no one told him that those are impact primed explosive meant to destroy armored vehicles and in some cases tanks. Oh, the sledgehammer proved successful by the way.
10. NaysayerSalvaged from archive20 Dec 2006, 14:06
    most of the cue balls i've seen at bars are bigger than the other pool balls. when the cue ball gets pocketed, the larger size makes it hit a metal bar while running down the track and it diverts its path to go out to the top. but im sure different table manufacturers have different return systems.
11. jabaSalvaged from archive20 Dec 2006, 14:13
    most of the cue balls i've seen at bars are bigger than the other pool balls. when the cue ball gets pocketed, the larger size makes it hit a metal bar while running down the track and it diverts its path to go out to the top. but im sure different table manufacturers have different return systems. ROFL - read the original post. :wink:
12. NaysayerSalvaged from archive20 Dec 2006, 15:25
    i did, it states that cue balls are smaller, i say otherwise
13. ColziSalvaged from archive20 Dec 2006, 15:28
    i did, it states that cue balls are smaller, i say otherwise So what u saying packaging on cue /snooker/ pool ballz should read DO NOT PUT IN MOUTH ! lol
14. jabaSalvaged from archive20 Dec 2006, 16:24
    i did, it states that cue balls are smaller, i say otherwiseI bet he wished they were bigger too lol!
15. NaysayerSalvaged from archive20 Dec 2006, 16:27
    i did, it states that cue balls are smaller, i say otherwise So what u saying packaging on cue /snooker/ pool ballz should read DO NOT PUT IN MOUTH ! lol not at all, i propose the exact opposite. in fact i tell little children that they are just really large versions of skittles. you wouldn't believe how many have died trying to taste the rainbow. get them while they're young i always say
16. jabaSalvaged from archive20 Dec 2006, 17:07
    We used to call em 'gobstoppers' lol.

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