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The Forum › Jokes, Humor and Pranks FileCabi.net Forum (2007–2008)

Newlyweds

Salvaged from archive These posts were salvaged from the web archive of the original FileCabi forum (2007–2008). Usernames are as they were then and aren’t linked to today’s accounts.
  1. snufftelectSalvaged from archive17 Jul 2006, 15:34
    A robber breaks into the hotel room of a couple of newlyweds. He brandishes a gun and threatens them both with death, then proceeds to tie the husband to the chair and the wife to the bed. He leans over and kisses the wife's neck before walking to the bathroom. As he disappears from view, the husband whispers to his wife: "Honey, I saw him kiss your neck and I think we both know what he wants: whatever he wishes to do with you just comply and don't resist, and maybe we'll get out of this alive. And remember that I love you." The wife, eyebrows raised, replies: "Actually he wasn't kissing my neck he was whispering in my ear, he said he's just got out of prison and rather likes the look of you and asked if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Remember honey: I love you." :lol:
  2. crazyjoeSalvaged from archive17 Jul 2006, 21:58
    lmao poor husband :P
  3. JiggaT2Salvaged from archive17 Jul 2006, 23:44
    *husbands thoughts* OMFG my butthole???
  4. Rocker KidSalvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 00:24
    LMAO T.Rex would be happy to take the place of the newlywed husband though :P
  5. JiggaT2Salvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 00:58
    OH SNAP lol
  6. Clouds In The SkySalvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 02:20
    Loves it ;)
  7. SpleenSalvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 02:37
    LMAO T.Rex would be happy to take the place of the newlywed husband though :P :shock: When have I ever said that im gay? Anyway, its a good joke, but very old, I must have heard it about 10 times.
  8. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 02:47
    LMAO T.Rex would be happy to take the place of the newlywed husband though :P :shock: When have I ever said that im gay? Anyway, its a good joke, but very old, I must have heard it about 10 times. Well whats wrong with it? Giving and receiving. 8) :oops: :?
  9. JiggaT2Salvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 02:48
    ^^^nuff said^^
  10. JiggaT2Salvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 02:52
    be strong T.REX
  11. SpleenSalvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 02:57
    You dont need to be gay to take it up the arse.
  12. JiggaT2Salvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 02:59
    so are you saying you take it up the ass? :shock:
  13. SpleenSalvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 03:00
    Yes, but not from a bloke. You have a problem with that? :?
  14. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 03:00
    You dont need to be gay to take it up the arse. Um... well... yeah kinda you do.... :? Unless your female... or unless it's not with another guy... :? :? :?
  15. SpleenSalvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 03:03
    Nah, you dont, strap on's and shit.
  16. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 03:04
    OH. Then it's totally not gay... :shock: :shock: what....... so.. ever.... :?
  17. JiggaT2Salvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 03:05
    ewwww.... your GF fucks you in the ass with a stap-on LMFAO!!!
  18. SpleenSalvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 03:06
    Whats wrong with it? The male G spot is up the arse.
  19. JiggaT2Salvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 03:07
    dude! SO WRONG WHO AGREES WITH ME
  20. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 03:08
    Whats wrong with it? The male G spot is up the arse. Yeah... But it's... uh... in your ass... :shock: c'mon dude...
  21. JiggaT2Salvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 03:12
    ya no kidding you can do it all you want but just dont go telling us about it
  22. SpleenSalvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 03:16
    Heh, someone accused me of being gay. I was just defendiny my sexuality. Not that it matters if you think I am gay.
  23. tgd_02Salvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 03:18
    Nah, you dont, strap on's and shit. wtf man too much info man ...... gross shit
  24. JiggaT2Salvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 03:19
    if you get it up that ass then your pretty gay... or just really used to dropping the soap in prison
  25. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 03:20
    It's your asshole, I don't care what you do... But... uh... whatever... :shock:
  26. JiggaT2Salvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 03:22
    i guess on the bright side.... it's easier to take shits it all just comes out all at once lol
  27. KitRaeSalvaged from archive18 Jul 2006, 10:51
    *Shivers*
  28. JiggaT2Salvaged from archive19 Jul 2006, 00:53
    ewww
  29. verticalkillerSalvaged from archive19 Jul 2006, 05:14
    Oh no don't attack t.Rex he's got feelings cry cry cry stop being assholes. I've never seen so many hypocrits in one place.
  30. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive19 Jul 2006, 05:20
    Hypocrites? The hell? :lol: :lol: BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. NOTHING. And I mean NOTHING, is going up my asshole! I wasn't being mean to him at all. I just thought it was wierd that he told us all that little bit of information. That's usually something you keep to yourself.
  31. Rocker KidSalvaged from archive19 Jul 2006, 05:51
    i guess on the bright side.... it's easier to take shits it all just comes out all at once lol lmao
  32. verticalkillerSalvaged from archive19 Jul 2006, 07:37
    Hypocrites? The hell? :lol: :lol: BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. NOTHING. And I mean NOTHING, is going up my asshole! I wasn't being mean to him at all. I just thought it was wierd that he told us all that little bit of information. That's usually something you keep to yourself. Don't knock it till you've tried it. Im not trying to air my buisness at all i'm just saying.
  33. SpleenSalvaged from archive19 Jul 2006, 13:44
    Heh, I dond mind. I get that sort of response from people in real life. People too afraid to try to take it up the arse, afraid they will turn gay or something.
  34. KitRaeSalvaged from archive19 Jul 2006, 15:00
    You can stick a pineapple up your urethra for all I care, whatever makes you smile :)... But for me... It sometimes even hurts when I take a shit :shock: So I couldn't imagine how painful it is when....*shivers*
  35. JiggaT2Salvaged from archive20 Jul 2006, 01:35
    [quote="AllisterFiend"] NOTHING. And I mean NOTHING, is going up my asshole! quote] well Thank you for getting that off my chest for me! can't stand wedgies let alone a fucking dildo!
  36. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive20 Jul 2006, 01:47
    Hypocrites? The hell? :lol: :lol: BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. NOTHING. And I mean NOTHING, is going up my asshole! I wasn't being mean to him at all. I just thought it was wierd that he told us all that little bit of information. That's usually something you keep to yourself. Don't knock it till you've tried it. Im not trying to air my buisness at all i'm just saying. Hell no I'm not trying it. Are you fucking insane? That's not what your asshole is for! lol Noooooo thanks

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