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VerticalKiller round two

Salvaged from archive These posts were salvaged from the web archive of the original FileCabi forum (2007–2008). Usernames are as they were then and aren’t linked to today’s accounts.
  1. OverlordSalvaged from archive25 Jul 2006, 15:46
    POST YOUR FAVORITE VERTICALKILLER STORY HERE:
  2. OverlordSalvaged from archive25 Jul 2006, 15:48
    Verticalkiller awakes during the night, and her husband isn’t in bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she asks. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. "Yes, I do," she replies. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?" "Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?’" "I remember that, too," she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today."
  3. Big OzzieSalvaged from archive25 Jul 2006, 15:49
    ......uh, we had wild sex after I whispered sweet nothings in her ear?....
  4. Big OzzieSalvaged from archive25 Jul 2006, 15:52
    Funny, Overlord....ROFL FUNNY......crap, I can't believe that I never heard that story before.....good one!
  5. cheese muffinSalvaged from archive25 Jul 2006, 15:58
    Two hunters are strolling along the edge of the woods, when they come upon verticalkiller outside, sunning herself naked in a beach chair. The first hunter asks, "Are you game baby?" "Sure am honey", replies verticalkiller. So the second hunter shoots her.
  6. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive25 Jul 2006, 19:13
    lol :lol:
  7. cheese muffinSalvaged from archive25 Jul 2006, 20:26
    Verticalkiller has a terminal illness, where there is no cure. but lately she and her husband have been notified of a recent medical breakthrough. so sure enough they go for a visit to the doctor. Vertical killer is too ill to walk, so her husband goes alone. "Doctor", says the husband, "Is it true, is there really a cure?" "You're wife's illness is now curable!" the Doctor exclaims. "How, how???" said the husband, now almost frantic. "Ok Ok, here's how: you literally must be you're wifes most dearest husband. By this i mean, you must make her life as happy as possible. Do all the chores for her, constantly put her music on for her, Rub her feet, cook her food, get her blankets. You must literally cater to her EVERY WHIM AND NEED!. if you do this, you're wife will live to a very old age." The husband stands there, too shocked for words. he simply relpies, " ok....." When he gets home, VerticalKiller frantically asks in a weak voice, " what did he say?" "He says you're going to die" says the husband.
  8. Rocker KidSalvaged from archive25 Jul 2006, 20:42
    VK walks into her bedroom to find her fiance humping a hippo. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" She shreiks in disgust! Her husband looks at her and looks at the hippo... "Since when do you have a TWIN!?" He yells.
  9. Clouds in the SkySalvaged from archive25 Jul 2006, 20:53
    Zing.
  10. tgd_02Salvaged from archive25 Jul 2006, 21:23
    bitches love, they know that i can fuck em, bitches love me they know that im on tiiime-
  11. verticalkillerSalvaged from archive25 Jul 2006, 23:03
    VK walks into her bedroom to find her fiance humping a hippo. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" She shreiks in disgust! Her husband looks at her and looks at the hippo... "Since when do you have a TWIN!?" He yells. Yo, what the fuck! I don't ever say anything to you Madame, you're just following suit. How sheeply, I gave you more credit than that.
  12. Rocker KidSalvaged from archive25 Jul 2006, 23:08
    VK walks into her bedroom to find her fiance humping a hippo. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" She shreiks in disgust! Her husband looks at her and looks at the hippo... "Since when do you have a TWIN!?" He yells. Yo, what the fuck! I don't ever say anything to you Madame, you're just following suit. How sheeply, I gave you more credit than that. wtf... I honestly didn't post that shit... it's not even funny...
  13. Anony-mousSalvaged from archive25 Jul 2006, 23:10
    hows hackin'
  14. Rocker KidSalvaged from archive25 Jul 2006, 23:14
    hows hackin' I dunno but I think my sister made a nasty post...
  15. Anony-mousSalvaged from archive25 Jul 2006, 23:15
    thats a good way to get a bad rep
  16. Rocker KidSalvaged from archive25 Jul 2006, 23:28
    thats a good way to get a bad rep yep... changed my pass word and now she can't get in my account so it's all good...
  17. Evil ConservativeSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 02:27
    Sad sad thread...as are those that participate in it. General joking is one thing, but making fun of someone based on their appearance is lowest of the low. Some of you assholes *looks at Overload and Muffin and Ozzie and Alister and T.rex* post your GD picture up so we can make fun of your appearances and/or race. :twisted: You know what though...I doubt I would ever stoop to that level. Really. Not with a fellow forum member. I'm such a bad troll to a select few yet all I see from you guys is some of the worst trolling I've seen on any forum. :evil:
  18. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 02:34
    Sad sad thread...as are those that participate in it. General joking is one thing, but making fun of someone based on their appearance is lowest of the low. Some of you assholes *looks at Overload and Muffin and Ozzie and Alister* post your GD picture up so we can make fun of your appearances and/or race. :twisted: You know what though...I doubt I would ever stoop to that level. Really. Not with a fellow forum member. I'm such a bad troll to a select few yet all I see from you guys is some of the worst trolling I've seen on any forum. :evil: Are you telling me to post a pic of myself or something? I don't get what you saying.
  19. Evil ConservativeSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 02:40
    Are you telling me to post a pic of myself or something? I don't get what you saying. You should reread the flame posts about VK in here and even in general chat and under that 3 word flame/joke thread. There is work to be done Ozzie don't neglece your new found duties due to personal feelings.
  20. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 02:54
    You should reread the flame posts about VK in here and even in general chat and under that 3 word flame/joke thread. There is work to be done Ozzie don't neglece your new found duties due to personal feelings. Only way I contributed to this thread was " :lol: lol " I still don't get what you were trying to get at earlier... Some of you assholes *looks at Overload and Muffin and Ozzie and Alister and T.rex* post your GD picture up so we can make fun of your appearances and/or race. :twisted: :? :?
  21. QuackersSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 03:07
    Some of you assholes *looks at Overload and Muffin and Ozzie and Alister and T.rex* post your GD picture up so we can make fun of your appearances and/or race. :twisted: Dunno what you mean by 'GD' pic, but ive no problem showing off my lovely face on the net. http://putfile.com/pic.php?pic=4/10815345241.jpg&s=x11 There ya go EC, flame away. I couldnt care less about what some prat over the internet thinks of my appearance.
  22. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 03:12
    I've posted alot of pictures of myself on here... http://i1.tinypic.com/1zxo8xf.jpg http://i1.tinypic.com/1zxl9xh.jpg http://i7.tinypic.com/210ly6s.jpg http://i2.tinypic.com/1zxl3qx.jpg http://i7.tinypic.com/210lf6q.jpg ta-da... :wink: I don't care.
  23. QuackersSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 03:16
    Are you Mortimer Jordan, or Steven Knight? You appear to have two namees on your ID.
  24. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 03:17
    Are you Mortimer Jordan, or Steven Knight? You appear to have two namees on your ID. Mortimer Jordan is the School name. :? That's why it's in fancy blue letters :lol:
  25. QuackersSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 03:21
    Pretty nice name, beats my schools name. You dont get any blander than newport free grammar school.
  26. Evil ConservativeSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 03:24
    Congradulations. You two had that balls to post. I'll have to review who has made the appearance insults on V.K. and get back to you. arrhemcougharrdcouogharrksn :D
  27. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 03:26
    Pretty nice name, beats my schools name. You dont get any blander than newport free grammar school. lol... check out our school mascot... http://i7.tinypic.com/211l6c9.jpg http://www.mortimerjordan.com/Mascot.jpg It's fucking Satan! lol
  28. QuackersSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 03:29
    Mine is a dolphin I think. The school motto is 'Suffer and serve' which ive always found worrying... EC, flame away as much as you want, but until you post a pic of yourself, im assuming you look deformed.
  29. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 03:35
    What kind of motto is that? lol Do you go to school in a penitentiary? :lol: Ours is "Love it or leave it"
  30. AvalonerSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 05:04
    suffer and serve...wow wtf...this would really worry me..good that its not typical to have mascots or mottos in german schools...suffer and serve...strange...
  31. OverlordSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 08:39
    LOL great stories and Rocker it's okay, most of us don't like VerticalKiller either... you can admit you posted it.
  32. Evil ConservativeSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 08:49
    LOL great stories and Rocker it's okay, most of us don't like VerticalKiller either... you can admit you posted it. Great flames at someone else's espense..not that she cares much, but I care when some internet wackoff makes fun of someone on the basic of their opinion of someone's appearance. Your the worst of the trolls...figured that out. An instigator. The only thing your overlord over is your own bodily waste products.
  33. OverlordSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 08:51
    Oh, I'm sorry did I offend you? Good. You offended most of the people in here a long time ago. I'm glad you got a taste of your own medicine
  34. Evil ConservativeSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 09:03
    Oh, I'm sorry did I offend you? Good. You offended most of the people in here a long time ago. I'm glad you got a taste of your own medicine Gd'night/day ,overload. Have a flaming day. Might I suggest a pyschologist for your to see?
  35. cheese muffinSalvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 11:58
    perhaps an EC story thread as well overlord?
  36. tgd_02Salvaged from archive26 Jul 2006, 12:12
    wtf... I honestly didn't post that shit... it's not even funny... *sniff sniff i smell the bullshit over here...

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