| Author | Message |
|---|
AllisterFiend
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 5 Dec 2006, 23:53 · [Salvaged from Archive]
to a funeral today. And... I've never heard anyone play simple man and FREEBIRD all the way through at a funeral... :? you think that would happen at any place besides Alabama? :lol: I mean. The funeral thing wasn't funny but I thought the lynard skynard thing was... |
Big Ozzie
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 6 Dec 2006, 07:11 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Why not?....was he a "Simple Man"?....and now he is "Free as a Bird"
Personally, I want professional mourners at mine...topless Ethiopian women wailing and flogging their backs with thorns and sticks...Middle Eastern Woman in Birki's making that funny "yodeling" noise that they make with their tongues.
OH YEAH, a Scot on Bagpipes playing "Amazing Grace", a WWI Vet playing TAPS on an old bugle...(hmmmmm, may not be any alive soon, let alone one that can blow a bugle still) best find an actor in uniform!
AND....I want to be carried through the streets very slowly, with a small Brass ensemble playing mournful music....all of who (after I am planted) break out into a lively step tune and start dancing their way to the local picnic grove for a PIG & STEER ROAST, Clam & Lobster Bake with plenty of fruit and veggies for all to eat!......and good, watered down, AMERICAN BEER on TAP! |
Brixton
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 6 Dec 2006, 09:51 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Ozman has a large request for a dead person. You will be lucky if they dig ya a hole to put you in... lol |
Big Ozzie
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 6 Dec 2006, 12:02 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Ozman has a large request for a dead person. You will be lucky if they dig ya a hole to put you in... lol
I've already dedicated a portion of my life insurance to insure that my wishes are fulfilled!
DID YOU THINK I WAS KIDDING? :shock:
I want to go out and have a Funeral to remember my life by....Shit, Death is only a transition from one plane of reality to the next...the Spirit and Soul will go on.
I want my Funeral to be a celebration of the life that I lived...not the mourning of the loss of my existance.
The Life that I have lived has been a wild and crazy one...as should be my Funeral and the following Reception.
ACE stated:
umm Ozzman the yodeling by middle eastern women is done during happy times (Marrage, birthdays) not during mourning.
Hmmmm, coulda sworn I saw them doing it over the bodies of their dead. OH WELL....it should be a Happy Time! My life was a Happy one and I have touched and influenced as many other lives as possible.
But, if no "Middle Eastern Yoddleing Women" then I'll have to settle for Strippers tossing flowers in the road before the Horse Drawn Hearse! |
Brixton
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 6 Dec 2006, 12:05 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Your a crazy mo fo Ozzman, I like you, hell you can come round my house and fuck my sister!!(full metal jacket quote for ya there!!)
lol |
Jack Klompus
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 6 Dec 2006, 13:09 · [Salvaged from Archive]
NERF HERDER - 5000 ways to die
There must be 5000 ways to die,
and each one ends the same way if you try.
Your friends all stand around while they dump you in the ground
and the people who loved you will ask "Why?"
Oh why? Oh why? Oh why?
And the bastard you hated the most
will stand up and give you a toast.
He'll say "We were such good friends,
especially near the end"
Then he'll feel up your girl friend in front of your ghost.
So get in your car and drive real fast.
Up in the attic with a shotgun blast.
Take a bath with a clock radio.
Vodka, valium, overdose!
Have you ever tried?
There must be 5000 ways to die
And if youre very lucky
you'll get your picture in the paper on page 3.
25 words will summarize how you spent your whole damn life.
One day on that page
next day into the hamster cage (get it)
So get in your car and drive real fast.
Up in the attic with a shotgun blast
take a bath with a clock radio.
Vodka, valium, overdose!
All the glamour can be yours with a loaded .44
Have you ever tried?
There must be 5000 ways to die |
Heero Valentine
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 6 Dec 2006, 13:16 · [Salvaged from Archive]
AMERICAN BEER on TAP!
trying to kill the people that are at the funeral? |
AllisterFiend
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 6 Dec 2006, 15:43 · [Salvaged from Archive]
C'mon Ozzie... the full... what? 15 minutes of freebird?? :lol: |
Quackers
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 6 Dec 2006, 17:33 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Another one bites the dust or sommin else humourous at my funeral please. Then my mates can all have a party n stuff.
This guy had the craziest funeral ever, read from 'Death' onwards... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GG_Allin |
Colzi
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 6 Dec 2006, 17:50 · [Salvaged from Archive]
Another one bites the dust or sommin else humourous at my funeral please. Then my mates can all have a party n stuff.
This guy had the craziest funeral ever, read from 'Death' onwards... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GG_Allin
After arriving at his friend's apartment, Allin snorted heroin, eventually passing out. Some party-goers posed for photos with the unconscious Allin, not knowing that he was already dead. The next morning, some noticed that Allin still lay motionless in the same place where they had left him, and called for an ambulance, but Allin was pronounced dead at the scene.
Cmon they must of been drugged up the eyeballs also :roll:
Friends posed with the corpse, put drugs and whiskey into its mouth, and pulled down the jock strap to take pictures of Allin's penis.
So ok he wouldn't of wanted this + even if he did u just wouldnt !
Whats God going t say when he opens up his pearly gates n see's :shock:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:GG-Allin.jpg |
tgd_02
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 6 Dec 2006, 17:53 · [Salvaged from Archive]
im no superman |
DandruffBGone
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 6 Dec 2006, 18:26 · [Salvaged from Archive]
I said it before, and I'll say it again:
Just say no to drugs. |
Big Ozzie
Salvaged from Archive | Posted: 6 Dec 2006, 21:17 · [Salvaged from Archive]
C'mon Ozzie... the full... what? 15 minutes of freebird?? :lol:
You're right Allister.......they should have included STAIRWAY to HEAVEN (long version) as well.....what the Hell! What's an extra 17+ minutes when you are remembering a lifetime! |
