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I went

1. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive5 Dec 2006, 23:53
   to a funeral today. And... I've never heard anyone play simple man and FREEBIRD all the way through at a funeral... :? you think that would happen at any place besides Alabama? :lol: I mean. The funeral thing wasn't funny but I thought the lynard skynard thing was...
2. Big OzzieSalvaged from archive6 Dec 2006, 07:11
   Why not?....was he a "Simple Man"?....and now he is "Free as a Bird" Personally, I want professional mourners at mine...topless Ethiopian women wailing and flogging their backs with thorns and sticks...Middle Eastern Woman in Birki's making that funny "yodeling" noise that they make with their tongues. OH YEAH, a Scot on Bagpipes playing "Amazing Grace", a WWI Vet playing TAPS on an old bugle...(hmmmmm, may not be any alive soon, let alone one that can blow a bugle still) best find an actor in uniform! AND....I want to be carried through the streets very slowly, with a small Brass ensemble playing mournful music....all of who (after I am planted) break out into a lively step tune and start dancing their way to the local picnic grove for a PIG & STEER ROAST, Clam & Lobster Bake with plenty of fruit and veggies for all to eat!......and good, watered down, AMERICAN BEER on TAP!
3. BrixtonSalvaged from archive6 Dec 2006, 09:51
   Ozman has a large request for a dead person. You will be lucky if they dig ya a hole to put you in... lol
4. Big OzzieSalvaged from archive6 Dec 2006, 12:02
   Ozman has a large request for a dead person. You will be lucky if they dig ya a hole to put you in... lol I've already dedicated a portion of my life insurance to insure that my wishes are fulfilled! DID YOU THINK I WAS KIDDING? :shock: I want to go out and have a Funeral to remember my life by....Shit, Death is only a transition from one plane of reality to the next...the Spirit and Soul will go on. I want my Funeral to be a celebration of the life that I lived...not the mourning of the loss of my existance. The Life that I have lived has been a wild and crazy one...as should be my Funeral and the following Reception. ACE stated: umm Ozzman the yodeling by middle eastern women is done during happy times (Marrage, birthdays) not during mourning. Hmmmm, coulda sworn I saw them doing it over the bodies of their dead. OH WELL....it should be a Happy Time! My life was a Happy one and I have touched and influenced as many other lives as possible. But, if no "Middle Eastern Yoddleing Women" then I'll have to settle for Strippers tossing flowers in the road before the Horse Drawn Hearse!
5. BrixtonSalvaged from archive6 Dec 2006, 12:05
   Your a crazy mo fo Ozzman, I like you, hell you can come round my house and fuck my sister!!(full metal jacket quote for ya there!!) lol
6. Jack KlompusSalvaged from archive6 Dec 2006, 13:09
   NERF HERDER - 5000 ways to die There must be 5000 ways to die, and each one ends the same way if you try. Your friends all stand around while they dump you in the ground and the people who loved you will ask "Why?" Oh why? Oh why? Oh why? And the bastard you hated the most will stand up and give you a toast. He'll say "We were such good friends, especially near the end" Then he'll feel up your girl friend in front of your ghost. So get in your car and drive real fast. Up in the attic with a shotgun blast. Take a bath with a clock radio. Vodka, valium, overdose! Have you ever tried? There must be 5000 ways to die And if youre very lucky you'll get your picture in the paper on page 3. 25 words will summarize how you spent your whole damn life. One day on that page next day into the hamster cage (get it) So get in your car and drive real fast. Up in the attic with a shotgun blast take a bath with a clock radio. Vodka, valium, overdose! All the glamour can be yours with a loaded .44 Have you ever tried? There must be 5000 ways to die
7. Heero ValentineSalvaged from archive6 Dec 2006, 13:16
   AMERICAN BEER on TAP! trying to kill the people that are at the funeral?
8. AllisterFiendSalvaged from archive6 Dec 2006, 15:43
   C'mon Ozzie... the full... what? 15 minutes of freebird?? :lol:
9. QuackersSalvaged from archive6 Dec 2006, 17:33
   Another one bites the dust or sommin else humourous at my funeral please. Then my mates can all have a party n stuff. This guy had the craziest funeral ever, read from 'Death' onwards... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GG_Allin
10. ColziSalvaged from archive6 Dec 2006, 17:50
    Another one bites the dust or sommin else humourous at my funeral please. Then my mates can all have a party n stuff. This guy had the craziest funeral ever, read from 'Death' onwards... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GG_Allin After arriving at his friend's apartment, Allin snorted heroin, eventually passing out. Some party-goers posed for photos with the unconscious Allin, not knowing that he was already dead. The next morning, some noticed that Allin still lay motionless in the same place where they had left him, and called for an ambulance, but Allin was pronounced dead at the scene. Cmon they must of been drugged up the eyeballs also :roll: Friends posed with the corpse, put drugs and whiskey into its mouth, and pulled down the jock strap to take pictures of Allin's penis. So ok he wouldn't of wanted this + even if he did u just wouldnt ! Whats God going t say when he opens up his pearly gates n see's :shock: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:GG-Allin.jpg
11. tgd_02Salvaged from archive6 Dec 2006, 17:53
    im no superman
12. DandruffBGoneSalvaged from archive6 Dec 2006, 18:26
    I said it before, and I'll say it again: Just say no to drugs.
13. Big OzzieSalvaged from archive6 Dec 2006, 21:17
    C'mon Ozzie... the full... what? 15 minutes of freebird?? :lol: You're right Allister.......they should have included STAIRWAY to HEAVEN (long version) as well.....what the Hell! What's an extra 17+ minutes when you are remembering a lifetime!

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