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drugfucked?

1. cymru am bythSalvaged from archive16 Oct 2006, 22:17
   You Know You're Drugfucked When - You lose arguments with inanimate objects - You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth - You can't hold on any more and fall off - Your job's interfering with your drinking - Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream - Your career won't progress beyond bouncer - The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat - You sincerely believe weed to be the elusive 5th food group - 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not! - You can focus better with one eye closed - The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar - Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops - Your twin daughters are both named Mary Jane - Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner! - Mosquitoes die after attacking you - You begin AA meetings with: "Hi, my name is... uh..." - Your idea of cutting back is less salt - You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed - The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in - You think the Four Basic Food Groups are hash cookies, acid, Jim Beam, and Jolt - Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive - Roseanne looks good - You don't recognise your girlfriend unless seen through bottom of glass - Your woman tells you you're 'not your usual self' when you start to straighten out - You realise that dogs are really funny - You know that the only thing funnier than dogs is the fact that we keep them as pets - That darn giant earwig won't stop following you home - The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering - You wake up screaming "TORO TORO TORO!" in the middle of the night
2. Commando80Salvaged from archive17 Oct 2006, 02:20
   - You lose arguments with inanimate objects - You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth - You can't hold on any more and fall off the best ones!
3. crazyjoeSalvaged from archive19 Oct 2006, 00:14
   lmao
4. HypotheticalSalvaged from archive20 Oct 2006, 07:49
   - Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream Hey, who's been talking to my doctor?

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